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"I've Always Liked Kevin Youkilis", says Insufferable, Blood-Sucking Yankee Fan.

Long Island, NY - " I have to admit it, I've always been a fan of Kevin Youkilis", remarked a disgusting, blood-sucking fan of the New York Yankees. Steve Wilmer, a 34-year-old tax attorney and blood sucking leech of a person, divulged the inform...

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Taco Bell Adopts New Slogan, "Where's the Modified Corn Starch?"

In the competitive world of advertising, changing the slogan of a product that consumers have come to know and love can either result in you bathing in money, or bathing once a month. Executives at Taco Bell have decided take a huge risk by going wit...

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Princeton Looks To Pull Off Upset By Persistently Asking Kentucky Players SAT Review Questions

PRINCETON, NJ: The Princeton University men's basketball team could not have been more thrilled upon receiving the 13th seed in the east bracket and matchup against the number 4 seeded Kentucky Wildcats in the NCAA Tournament. Despite being heavy und...

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Roommate Would Really Like to Know Where the Fucking Bullets are Going if They're Not Killing that Fucking Guy

Salisbury, MD - Local roommate Mike Harron "is really having trouble believing the guy dodged all those fucking shots." The Salisbury University junior, "honestly cannot believe that just fucking happened." "He was on the ground in last stand, wha...

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John Madden Delivers Delirious Half-time Speech To Hot Dog Vendor

As the first half of Super Bowl 43 came to a close with the Green Bay Packers leading 21-10, former head coach and beloved NFL color commentator John Madden knew it was time. Despite having no idea what time is was, or for that matter how he had g...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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