Written by Sam Marx
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Saturday, 12 January 2013

Salisbury, MD - Local roommate Mike Harron "is really having trouble believing the guy dodged all those fucking shots." The Salisbury University junior, "honestly cannot believe that just fucking happened."

"He was on the ground in last stand, what the fucking fuck." Said Harron as he was shot twice in the chest killing him instantly while playing a round of Call of Duty: Black Ops.

"Aaghh you're joking me!" A visibly displeased Harron moaned as he went on a rant about the un-fucking-fairness of the of the "shitty" first person shooter game. "There's no fucking way he could survive that many bullets from a SIG556!" Shouted the 21-year-old whom our sources tell us has never seen live military action nor held a real gun.

The Virginia Beach native went on to say, "Oh my fucking Christ! That is a clear computer error! I mean that man could not possibly have fucking shot me!"

When reached for comment Harron stated that, "He was just finishing up a game of Fifa 2013 and he would -Whhaatt! Who the fuck told you to play that fucking pass there?!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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