Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Tuesday, 26 March 2013

image for Supreme Court Rules Sex Organs Unconstitutional In Determining Sexual Orientation
Goose or Gander?

BILLINGSGATE POST - In a 5-4 decision the Supreme Court overturned conventional sex theories held sacred since Adam and Eve discovered each other's interjoining plumbing in the Garden of Eden and ruled sex organs unconstitutional in determining sexual orientation.

With Justice Kennedy once again crossing the line and joining with the four liberal justices in the decision that was based on a theory first promulgated by Justice Elena Kagan to fellow justices that it was her personal conviction that the Old Testament is unconstitutional because it promotes sex bias in favor of heterosexuals.

"It follows then," she argued, "that any subsequent decision regarding sex between heterosexuals has been colored by this bias that only those who practiced penis-vaginal sex could marry."

Associate Judge Clarence Thomas dissented based on his argument that, "Being a married man myself, if that were true, how did I find a pubic hair in my coke bottle?" Chief Justice Roberts responded by stating that sexual images of that nature could only distort the eyes of the Court. Adding, "Your a posteriori arguments drive me up the wall. Clarence, are you sure you want that statement included in the records?"

With Scalia joining in the dissent, the sometimes acerbic Justice remarked that sex organs, in his opinion, were overrated in determining sexual orientation. "But on the other hand, allowing transgenders the same right to marriage as heterosexuals makes as much sense as putting balls on a goose and declaring them ganders."

More to follow......

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