Screen Name: Dr. Billingsgate
Dr. Billingsgate has published 467 items on The Spoof and is currently ranked 12th in the top writers table.
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Latest Spoof News Story: Monday 16th November 2015
Spoofing since: Monday 22nd February 2010
Location: Galapagos Islands
Profile: Born in the Billingsgate area of London for which he was named, he is the son of intinerant fishmongers. Although not a child protege, he was called "Doctor" from the very start by his siblings who were not of royal birth, but who were named "King," "Queen" and "Princess" by my mum.
Upon migrating to the Cayman Islands as a teenager, Dr. Billingsgate enrolled in the prestigous La Fontaine College and was awarded his first of twelve doctorates in Animal Husbandry. His provocative thesis, "Making a Sheep Smile," still serves as the bellwether document uniting men and animals in times of crisis.
Upon becoming an American citizen, Dr. Billingsgate served in the United States Navy during the Vietnam War, receiving a citation for introducing the "Montana Pole" to sailors at sea. The six foot pole has a mirror attached to one end so that the sailor could see if the sheep were smiling while being poked from behind by the sailor.
Now semi-retired and living in the Galapagos Islands, the good doctor, who received his twelfth and maybe final doctorate in Taxidermy, whiles away his time harvesting bat guano and performing pro-bono botoxing jobs on the unfortunates gals born with flat breasts and chicken lips who habitate these islands.
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6,815 Americans die on Black FridaySome 6,815 Americans died on Black Friday, which is the average daily number of deaths in the U.S. The difference: 6,754 of these deaths were blamed on crazy-ass shoppers trying to score a bargain.
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