Manchester United Fans To Welcome Liverpool With Polite Applause

At a hastily arranged press conference at a Manchester Hotel, Manchester United supporter, Lance Boyle told us that there would be no repeat of the fan behaviour which has previously marred (or spiced up, depending on your point of view) previous encounters between the two sides at both Anfield and Old Trafford.

"There'll be no venom or anti-Liverpudlian bile expressed tomorrow," he vowed. "United fans have organised it so that we're all sittingly quietly in our seats sipping Earl Grey from china teacups and chewing on prawn sandwiches. Then when the teams come out onto the park our plan is to applaud politely, like people at the ballet or the opera. Our intention is to keep this up throughout the match.

"That'll do their fucking heads in! Geddin!"

Liverpool FC have sold their full allocation of tickets for the fixture. Prominent Liverpool fan Mickey Mac Whack told the Spoof.com:

"Yer WHAR? Yeah an' I'm Simon Of Friggin' Cyrene! Polite applause my arse!"

Updates as they come in.

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