Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 12 March 2009

image for Jose Mourinho Punches Manchester United Tosser In Face, Allegedly
Mourinho: upset by tosspot

Controversy is something never very far away from former Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho, now in charge at Inter Milan, and the Special One was in trouble again this morning, after it was alleged he had struck a Manchester United supporter in the face when leaving Old Trafford last night.

Mourinho had seen his team crash out of the Champions League after a 2-0 defeat to Sir Alex Ferguson's men, when a supporter who had waited until nearly midnight to make a nuisance of himself, started being abusive towards him.

Seeing Mourinho boarding the Inter team boss, the fan, John Dicksplash, chanted:

"You're going home, you're going home."

Mourinho punched him in the face, replying:

"You're going to hospital, you're going to hospital."

Manchester police attended the scene and confirmed they were investigating an incident where a tosspot had been punched in the face by a very rich and suave-looking Portuguese man. No charges have been brought.

The tosspot sloped off home with his very short tail between his legs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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