Elizabeth Taylor to play Michael Jackson in film

Michael Jackson's long-time friend Liz Taylor has said that she will play the part of the now deceased king of Pop in a biopic of the stars life.

Taylor, 153, said she was the only one who could portray the sick fuck correctly.

English director Michael Winner has assembled a stellar cast line-up for the film, titled 'For the Love of Children - The Michael Jackson Story'.

Confusingly, Leonardo diCaprio will play Macualy Culkin while Macauly Culkin will play Jordie Chandeler.

Jackie Chan will take the role of Janet Jackson and Michael's brothers will be played by Dame judi Dench, Patrick Stewart, Michael Gambon, Verne Troyer and Russell Crowe.

Sacha Baron Cohen will play Uri Geller - a horse-faced spoon bending dickhead who scrounges off Jackson's wealth.
Nicole Kidman will play the mother of Jackson's kids, Debbie Rowe.

A Hologram of Marlon Brando will appear as the inspirational God-like figure of Dina Ross.

Winner has said he is delighted with the script: "It's the best thing I've read on the toilet since Death Wish 2", he gloated.

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