Early this morning, Elin Nordegren crashed a Cadillac Escalade into a neighbor's hedge, sending the vehicle careening into BMW parked nearby. Elmer Pudd, the plumber for Nordegren's mansion, and Barney Pfaff, the mailman assigned to the neighborhood, received head injuries and were taken to the local hospital.
According to police arriving at the scene, Pudd and Pfaff were hiding behind the hedge when struck by the Escalade.
'We were lying in wait for Tiger to show up', Pudd said. 'We were going to give him a good talking to.'
Pudd and Pfaff each claim to be the father of Nordegren's children. Their claims are bolstered by recent revelations that Tiger Woods, the husband of Elin Nordegren, is infertile.
Apparently, they are working together.
Nordegren, confronted at the scene by a crowd of journalists hiding in the same hedge, asked her why she was driving so early in the morning, and so erratically.
'I had a headache and took some pills', she said. 'By accident, I took some from Tiger's stash. Must have been Ambien and Vicodin.'
Apparently, the two putative fathers, along with the journalists, have not been reading the latest Spoof news.
Tiger is now aboard his private yacht, 'Privacy', recently seen bobbing madly on the quiet surface of Puget Sound off the shore of Oregon.
