Written by Helen Tarnation

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Thursday, 17 December 2009

image for Nordegren reveals: 'Tiger is not the real father of my children'
Nordegren reading about yet another Tiger mistress

In an exclusive interview with the Swedish newspaper Norrsskvigg Daggbladdet, Elin Nordegren has revealed that her husband, famed golfer Tiger Woods, is not the father of her children.

Nordegren married Woods on October 5, 2004, in a wedding ceremony costing the billionaire golfer upwards of $2 million. She has now fled the US to her native Sweden, after discovering Woods has had at least a dozen mistresses during the course of their marriage.

During their marriage, Nordegren gave birth to two children: Sam Alexis Woods, in 2007, and Charlie Axel Woods, earlier this year.

'Tiger is not the real father of my children', said a tearful Nordegren. 'Now that I am safely back in my homeland, with my family and friends, I can finally reveal this. It is like lifting a weight from my shoulders.'

Nordegren declined to name the father, saying simply, 'He's the pool boy.'

'We plan to marry after I dump Tiger and collect the money', she added. 'I'll get what's left after those bimbo sluts finish taking him to the cleaners.'

In late-breaking news, Theresa Rogers has dropped her claim against Woods for support of the alleged 'Tiger cub' identified as 'Baby ETW'. Tiger's infertility means she'll have to look elsewhere for the baby's father.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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