Global Warming On Hold Until May

U.S. Scientists agree - global warming has been put on hold by the powers of the universe until May, possibly even June. As ice storms rage across the country today, prominent researchers tell us that the global warming scare is over at least until the weather warms up.

Global warming, you may recall, is the process through which the planet's surface temperature warms up due to the sun's heat being trapped in the atmosphere. During summer months, this gives millions of people the excuse to blame each other for heat waves, unexpected and unreceived rainfall, and other geologic conditions.

"This is the modern world, and we can no longer blame the gods, as was done in ancient times," Reported one top researcher. "Now we know that it is actually people who are to blame, and most people seem perfectly content to blame one another for planetary cycles."

Until the third week of May, scientists are urging people to use the phrase 'global cooling" instead. This term, while not especially accurate, is more appealing to younger people, because it contains the root word 'cool.'

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