Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 29 October 2010

image for Jordan Still Loves Pete (And The Daily Star)
A Colossal Erection Pictured First Thing This Morning.

Becoming increasingly desperate for a headline grabbing news story, as the X-Factor dominates the red tops with Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd stories, Katie Price aka Jordan has returned to the ample bosom of the Daily Star by declaring her undying love for Peter Andre.

A love almost as profound as that she shares with the red top scandal sheet.

It seems that poor old Alex 'The Cross Fighting Cage Dresser' Reid is once more out of favour as 'Kate' (her latest incarnation) apparently declared her undying love for ex-hubby Peter Andre.

Who can't even mime worth shit, let alone sing.

All a bit surprising really, because it wasn't so long ago that 'Kate' was slagging the useless Aussie lump off in the very same organ by claiming that he has a 'button mushroom penis.'

An insider told us that 'Kate' is unhappy about all the hullabaloo surrounding the X-Factor, so she's got together with her old chums at the Star and they've conjured up another headline which is probably a complete work of fiction, but which they hope will sell a few thousand copies of the paper.

To sad, lonely individuals with an overblown plastic breast fetish.

Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, speaking from the top deck of a London bus, told us:

"That's really scraping the bottom of the barrel. It's sad really. Rather like this article. I mean, why bother?"

Quite.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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