Malta Divorce Rate Goes Through The Roof

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 29 May 2011

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Won't you reconsider, Darling?" "Nah, fuck off."

There were celebrations on the Mediterranean island of Malta this weekend, after the Maltese government lifted its ban on divorce, which led to an astronomical increase in the divorce rate.

Of course, even just one divorce would have been an increase on no divorces, but what happened next could not have been foreseen by the authorities.

Malta is an island with a population of just over 400,000 residents, of which 289,000 are married to each other. It came as a shock, however, when more than 240,000 of these husbands and wives turned up at area offices to annul their marriages.

Even some of those working in the divorce offices were joining the long queues to rid themselves of their 'other halves'.

One couple who split were George and Mildred Sanchez, who had been together for almost 8 years. Said Mildred:

"I've been wanting to leave him for the last 7 years, and now that the law has allowed it, he can fuck off."

Her now ex-husband said:

"I'll miss her, but only for five minutes or so. Old ratbag."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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