Britain to stop dropping cabbages on Tripoli and start using bombs

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Saturday, 28 May 2011

image for Britain to stop dropping cabbages on Tripoli and start using bombs
3 pound military cabbage primed for dropping on Libya

The Ministry of Defence has announced that British fighter planes will step up their bombing campaign against Libya by switching from cabbages to bombs.

The announcement comes weeks after the military campaign to stop the Libyan Government's attacks on civilians. The bombings have been criticised by many as having had little effect and Colonel Gadaffi has remained defiant and expended his attacks on Misrata and other towns occupied by rebels.

The MOD defended the use of cabbages to date, a spokeswoman explaining "Imagine you're a Libyan general or government minister. After a difficult meeting lasting several hours you step outside for a smoke when smack! You just got hit by a large, smelly cabbage dropped from several hundred feet above by a British warplane. That is bound to make you reconsider your attacks against civilians and when you go back into the meeting, you'll probably say something like 'Oh dear, I've just been hit by an Allied cabbage, we should stop the madness and negotiate.'"

However, the experience on the ground has not mirrored expectations. Most cabbages have been missing their targets. Many have been dropped on civilian areas by mistake. One mother in Tripoli condemned the use of vegetables after her six year old daughter was struck by a cabbage which took surgeons three hours to remove from her head. The girl is at risk of smelling of cabbages for the rest of her life.

It is believed that the use of bombs will avoid some of these problems and ensure a cleaner fight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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