Ivory Coast promise choco freaks they won't go hungry!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

image for Ivory Coast promise choco freaks they won't go hungry!
Bloody hot chocolate, delicious!

Ivory Coast the world's largest cocoa producers who just happen to be in the midst of a bloody civil war have promised global choco freaks they won't go hungry!

There might be a few slight logistic problems, i.e. Finding enough workers who are still alive to pick the beans; weaving through the hundreds of dead bodies with their trucks loaded with the beans; hiring enough armed, rebel troops to protect their shipments because they're too busy killing their opponents; finding enough international buyers who are stupid enough to risk their lives by going there, etc.

Despite of all of these minor problems (?) Ivory coast has given it's European/US clients a guarantee that the cocoa beans will be safely delivered as long as the Europeans/US promise to send enough weapons to defend their plantations, factories and flog them on to the warring fractions; which ever one that's winning that is?

Cabdury's hot chocolate drinkers are delighted at the news and chocolate lovers the world over too. As long as the supplies keep coming the Ivory Coast warring fractions are being kept happy by having tons of weapons delivered. The status quo can continue and what's up with a couple of dead bodies after all, it's less mouths to feed?

In the meantime at least I've got my mug of lovely hot chocolate to keep me warm so I can slip smoothly into my warm cosy bed at night.

"Mummy, mummy, why are all those people slaughtering each other?" "Darling don't ask difficult questions, just finish your choccy milk-shake!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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