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Funny satire stories about fingerprints

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Funny story: Zooming in on your fingerprints

Zooming in on your fingerprints

There is now a world-wide, massive database of our individual fingerprints. Everybody who uses I-pads, touch screens, etc, has a unique fingerprint. These easily identifiable fingerprints are analysed every time we touch our pads. Soon the C.I.F.

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Funny story: French genital fingerprinting scheme sees photocopier sales sore (sic)

French genital fingerprinting scheme sees photocopier sales sore (sic)

Paris, France - (Ass Mess): An announcement by France's interior minister recommending new police identification procedures has seen photocopier manufacturers' shares rocket. Brice Hortefeux said today a new plan to combat digital fingerprinting p...

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Funny story: Anal Identification? The End Justifies the Means.

Anal Identification? The End Justifies the Means.

Doctor Bradley Annis, chief researcher at MIT's Department of Analendolgy, stated today, that a working prototype of a new positive identification device is in operation. The device, the Annisometure, named after it's primary inventor, Doctor Anni...

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Funny story: Criminologists Prefer Penises Over Fingers

Criminologists Prefer Penises Over Fingers

The Federation of Unique Criminologists(FUC) has announced its preference for penis over fingers.

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Funny story: Heathrow plans to fingerprint travellers

Heathrow plans to fingerprint travellers

Bloody Awful Airports (BAA) have released plans to fingerprint all travellers through its airports, starting with Heathrow, so that it "can find the bugger that keeps touching our clean windows!" Exclaimed an airport employee, adding "...

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Funny story: China Developing Human Computer Chips

China Developing Human Computer Chips

In 2004, researchers from the University of Florida grew mouse brain cells on a computer chip and trained them to pilot a flight simulator.

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