Chilean Minors Arrested at the Oasis Bar & Grill in Calama

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Chilean Minors Arrested at the Oasis Bar & Grill in Calama
The boys were learning bar tricks with swizzle sticks when first arrested

Nine boys ranging in age from fourteen to seventeen years old were arrested yesterday at a local watering hole in Calama, Chile, after posing as rescued workers from the nearby Atacama Desert copper mine disaster.

Dressed in dirty coveralls, nearly blackened shirts, and illuminated hard hats with the mine logo emblazoned across it, the boys apparently duped the bouncer at the front door to gain a sympathetic entry. Once inside, the locals were quick to offer their congratulations for surviving the harrowing experience, while offering to buy the group dinner and several rounds of drinks.

"I think that was their plan all along", said British citizen and Oasis Bar & Grill Security Training Director, Jimbo Gunn. "We flew in to open up the new franchise and were training a new man to work the front door, but he obviously missed the fact that these customers were a bit shorter than most. First rule of the velvet rope," says Gunn, "Always check ID, then demand a tip".

Fergus McCarthy, U.K. Director of Food and Beverage was surprised at the success of the ruse, but gave the boys credit for creativity. "Playing to national sympathy, dressing the part, coordinated stories about being trapped, these boys had the whole package. I wish I was that creative when trying to bust into the Skoob & Thistle in my younger days."

Local Oasis Group investor and bar manager, Sergio Pinera felt as if justice had already been served and made a case for letting the boys go. "After several rounds of free Crème de Menthe, the boys were all hugging the big white porcelain telephone in the rest room. I think after wrenching your guts out, in bright green no less, you should get a pass on your first bar crashing."

Police apparently agreed, reducing the potential sentence to one involving a personal drop off at each boy's home with an explanation to their parents. "A fate worse than jail", says McCarthy. "I'd rather listen to a desk sergeant blather on about right and wrong than have to deal with me mum and a switch from the back yard."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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