Prince Harry Loves Army Life

Funny story written by Monochrome

Thursday, 27 October 2005

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Up Early?

Prince Harry is said to be "Very happy" with Army life said a Palace spokesman today.

"The Prince has settled in very well at Sandhurst. The early mornings are hard for him. He has to get out of bed by 8 am sometimes so that his footman can make his bed ready for inspection and he has to get into one of the other trainee's beds which have already been made because they are all out on parade. The prince's butler has to be up very early to do parade for him. One of palace cooks goes and makes him breakfast for about ten and then the footman runs him a bath with his favourite rubber duck while the butler lays out his uniform for the day and then dresses him. The prince is always dressed and ready for action after lunch. He did find the army issue uniform a little harsh on his skin so his tailor has made him some from superior material.

"The other trainees treat Harry in exactly the same manner as any ordinary recruit and have even nicknamed him ‘Sir'. This name has become so popular in fact that all the officers call him Sir too!

"Harry is very well-liked among the other lads, they let him join in with all of their games and always let him be the Bucket and Sponge Man when they play football and rugby. When they go out on social occasions his new friends always let Harry drive them and insist that he buys all the drinks. He really loves mixing with ordinary people, he loves the way they speak; ‘Oi Sir!' they shout to him when in the public house. ‘Get some bloody drinks in Ginge, we're all dying of thirst over here!'

"The training is very arduous but the prince has embraced the discipline and rigour with the enthusiasm with which he faces every challenge. If there's anything he can't do, he'll get someone to do it for him. It shows real initiative on his part and the ability to delegate is such an important quality in an army officer."

Major Prancing-Flathead, the prince's commanding officer added the following comment. "As you can tell from what's already been said, any talk of Prince Harry being given preferential treatment is just untrue. We treat all our recruits in the same way. It's a tough life in the army and there's no room for softies."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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