Written by Morse

Sunday, 5 September 2010

image for Financial Crisis Averted at The Spoof.Com as Editor Announces He Will Pick Up Adult Services Ads Axed by Craigslist!
Happy Spoof Fan Searching the Site for Hot Porn Ads as Readership Soars Due to Sex Scheme!

Financially stressed editor Mark Lowton announced at a press conference this morning that the recent financial crisis that threatened the beloved humour site the Spoof. Com was averted after he picked up thousands of Adult Services Ads axed by Craigslist.

A recent rise in the cost of cheddar cheese, spiraling costs of eggs after the Salmonella outbreak in the Colonies, legal expenses dealing with defending himself for using a cell phone whilst cycling, and a roofing job on the company's London HQ's that went over budget due to the miscalculation's of an Irish Roofing Cowboy, had plunged the site into the specter of financial default.

Straits were so dire Lowton had recently twittered that he might be forced to have his stable of between 25 and 5,000 humour writers (who's counting anyway),pay to write for the site with a Nigerian Like Scheme of selling Gold Membership Cards in order to contribute to the on line publication.

The 'Pay to Write' scheme was roundly trashed by most writers who have yet to be paid a farthing for their contributions which are read by millions around the globe, and are closely monitored by government politicians every morning to keep up with fast breaking world events.

Another alternative was to have the site only available to readers who paid a yearly subscription fee of $350 dollars, not including the 25% Vat Charge, 50% if you happened to be a reader from Norway.

Lowton said he got the idea for readership fees from Australian Media Tycoon Rupert Murdoch after talks of a buyout of the Aussie collapsed when Lowton failed to up his bid for the hostile takeover of Murdoch's considerable empire.

Craigslist has been under attack for some time due to its Personal Services ads which have been mentioned in recent months regarding prostitution, full body massages, S&M, Russian Sleeper Agents soliciting secrets, and bisexual British MP's seeking male aides to share a bed on international piece-keeping (sic) missions.

The final straw it appears, was the recent suicide in jail of the infamous "Craigslist Killer" Phillip Markoff accused of killing one recent advertiser and raping at least one other. Craigslist finally succumbed to pressure and agreed to abandon their personal services ads handing over the rights to Lowton for a yet undisclosed sum.

Said Lowton, "Finally...Financial Security for me and The Spoof! With this new revenue I'll be able to hire one part time assistant editor , give meself a bonus, take a holiday, and buy some new brake pads for my cycle. I've also got my eye on that new George Foreman Grill to put in the office which is said to keep the melted cheese sandwiches from burning which has brought out the fire brigade!"

While Lowton couldn't promise he could begin paying his writers, many were encouraged with the news.

Said Martin Shuttlecock, a stringer for Skoob News and often mentioned on The Spoof, " Well...this opens up a new venue I can finally make some money at. I've already been contacted to ghost write some personal ads for a few of the working girls....pays good, and I'm also experiencing some great bartering opportunities. No offense though, I won't do anything in a Gay Way...that's my Editorial Policy and I'm sticking to it!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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