Hands Reject Otto Flabinumbwurst' Penis Implant

Funny story written by Jaime Morales

Sunday, 29 August 2010


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I'm sick of you, Go to bed.

Last year a German citizen called police complaining that her husband refused to make love to her.

Police told the women that they had no jurisdiction on sexual affairs.

Today the same lady, ninety five year old Aida Ho (a Chinese mail bride) again called police.
She requested to have her husband ninety eight years old Otto Flabinumbwurst (a well known German physicist)locked up until he decided to take care of business.

This time the police officers were very upset. After explaining the situation to the judge they were each ordered to have a separate psychiatric evaluation.

Knowing the problems many older men face Psychiatrist Dr. Cuntstable Peacock showed sympathy towards Otto.

"What's the happening Otto"? The Dr. asked "she doesn't excite me anymore. She is fat and her body is flabby, she has varicose veins and stretch marks all over her body." Otto replied.

Dr. Peacock ask Otto, "Have you tried turning the lights off and think about a girl that you find sexy"?

Otto answered "I did once Doc but as soon as I touched her, I ran out of the bed screaming "who the hell I'm trying to fool"? "Is not my fault Dr. Peacock The bitch got too old and fat.

"I've even tried Viagra three times but no luck, in fact one time I swallowed four of those pfizer riser and I almost got a myocardial infarct.

My body temperature went up so high that I started sweating profusely. I thought I was going to be a victim of spontaneous combustion. I had to fill the bathtub with ice and cold water. In fact Doc, my penis got smaller than ever with the cold water.

Meanwhile Doc, She is in the other room screaming "me so horny, me love you for a long time" "Here I'm freezing in the bathtub with what it looked like an in-grown penis and the old unattractive, raggedy bitch in heat kept calling me.

"I spent the next four days sweating, In fact I got so dehydrated that I ended in the hospital with needles on my arms getting liquids pumped into me."

"When was the last time you got any resemblance of a boner Otto"? the Dr. asked, The last time I got a boner was about a week ago when I had a full bladder, it pushed against the prostate gland which in turn gave me a piss hard on. It was quickly gone,

Dr. Peacock said "the only thing I can do for you Otto is recommend a penis implant." Otto agreed, the penis implant was successful and Otto is home resting.

After Otto's surgery Mrs.Aida Flabinumbwurst Ho went to see Dr. Cuntstable Peacock.

Aida was diagnosed with vaginal insomnia which was complicated with a long term case of vaginal attention deficit syndrome.

Dr. Peacock prescribed a vaginal Ritalingula suppository in the morning and a sleeping cream at night.

Meanwhile at home Otto's penis implant was starting to get frisky. Otto was so happy to get the old feeling back that he ran to the bathroom. "I think I'll give it a trial run" Otto said.

What a mistake that was! Otto's hand rejected the penis implant which fell into the bowl and it just floated in the water like a piece of brown turd. Otto called the police and told them to come to the house and get him out of there before Mrs. Flabinumbwurst Ho came home.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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