Written by Barwood

Sunday, 2 May 2010

image for Man Mauled By Wombat
Mr Spencer's Caravan

A cuddly looking wombat mauled a man stepping out of his caravan today. The man, Bruce Spencer (60), a survivor of the Black Saturday bushfires, was living in the caravan while he built a new home in Flowerdale north east of Melbourne.

Paramedic Roland Hill said when the man went to leave his caravan this morning, he found the wombat on his doormat. Unfortunately the gentleman stood on the wombat which proceeded to get rather nasty and attacked him inflicting some wounds to his lower legs as well as his arms.

The whole attack took about 20 minutes. Mr Spencer tried to exit the area but was each time hauled back by the wombat. Earlier other residents had had a run in with the wombat. Mrs Ethel Steedman the local post woman had already encountered the cuddly visitor as she was delivering the morning post said I bent down to stroke it and the flaming thing went for my finger.

Prof Dan Disney of the Wombat Protection Society of Australia said wombats that are in an advanced stage of mange will sometimes rush at people if they are approached, but he has never known one to actually physically attack a human.

Police Inspector Tam Henry of the Melbourne Police said, "These little blighters are trouble they come into town hit the bars get bladdered and then the trouble starts."

Police believe the ring leader is a Kangaroo named Skippy getting his own back on humans for putting him in second class TV programmes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Australia, Wombat

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