The Vatican has said Pope John Paul will remain in hospital for a few more days, as he decided to rest up whilst his upholstered wheelchair is sent back to FIAT for its annual service.
His top aide spoke openly about the possibility of the frail Pontiff upgrading the Parker Knoll Motorised armchair for a sportier model sometime in the spring. "He has been flicking through some brochures during his stay in Hospital and has his eye on a Maserati Sofa Bed convertible" said the aide.
In its latest health bulletin the Vatican said on Monday that although the 84-year old Pope was improving, he would stay in Rome's Gemelli hospital at least until Thursday unless the cam belt needs replacing in which case the part would have to be back ordered and they would have to consider a courtesy chair.
He was rushed there just before midnight last Tuesday with acute breathing problems brought on by a bout of influenza. The Vatican originally said he would spend just a week in hospital but the pontiff is said to be enjoying the stay and is especially enjoying the company of the young nurses.
His latest hospitalization once again revived debate on what the Church would do if he became permanently incapacitated and raised speculation that he might decide to not bother with chair at all and just go the whole hog and order a Lamborghini/Hulsta bed and never even have to get out of his pajamas.
Cardinal Angelo Sodano, Vatican Secretary of State, was asked at a Vatican event on Monday night if the latest health problems had made the Pope reflect on possible retirement.
"Let's leave that up to the conscience of the Pope," said Sodano, who in the past has brushed off talk of Papal retirement. "What I do know" he added "is that Pope John Paul has become very fond of the Hospital Radio Station and was thrilled when he was allowed to be guest DJ for the 12 til 2 shift"
Allegedly the Pope played Tommy Steel's "Little White Bull", did a top twenty Gregorian Chant Chart and improvised some hilarious pretend phone calls from historical figures including, Micheal Angelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, Steve Martin and Geoff Capes.
"If there is a man of the Church who is guided by the Holy Spirit, if there is a man who loves the Church more than anyone else, if there is a man who is possessed with marvelous wisdom, then please write in on a postcard only please with your name and address and your choice of record so the Pope can get a tune played," Sodano said.
"We have to have enormous faith in him. He knows what he has to do," he added.
