Kurdish kebab shop owners reacted angrily to news that the Turkish government is to "significantly" reduce hunting quotas for doner and shish as a result of a government population survey which revealed that doner and shish numbers in the wilds of the country had dramatically declined.
The Turkish government said that the quota cuts were necessary in order to allow the species to recover from recent over-hunting by paid marksmen, usually in the employ of kebab shop proprietors from the UK.
But Kurdish kebab shop owners claim that there is more to the cut in quotas than meets the eye, and that the cuts are being enforced as a means of getting to Kurdish seperatists by hitting them hardest where it hurts the most - in the pocket.
Kurdish kebab shop owner Ali Bullo was hopping mad when he told us:
"No need for this! No bloody need! Government men are all bastards! They want to stop Kurdish businessmen making money, killing independence movement in process! Bastards!"
A Turkish official was quick to play down the impact of the quota cuts, telling us:
"Turkey is running out of doner and shish. These are very secretive creatures which are on the decline because it is difficult to escape from hunters with a metal spike stuck up your arse."
It is widely believed that kebab prices are set to soar to astronomical amounts as shortages of doner and shish artificially inflate future trading prices.
More as we get it.
