To some people Balham is a joke as they hurtle through it on the A24 making their way to Gatwick airport, but thousands of people live there in peace and harmony, apart from the raucous weekend night life. Here are ten interesting facts about Balham...
St. James Park, Newcastle: The Tyne flows and along comes a veteran gunslinger, Roy Kinnear, brought in by Mike Ashley in a new role as an assassinator or terminator... Upon his appointment Roy Kinnear referred to players Yohan "Kebab" (Cabaye),...
South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur Ali Bullo today announced that the menu item known as the 'Big Jimmy' is to be discontinued with immediate effect from all of his conveniently located kebab and burger vans. Market analysts speculat...
Isle of Dogs - A late night fast food cafe owner is in shock this weekend after a trainee put the winning lottery ticket inside a customer's take away kebab. Five numbers and the two all-important star balls came up trumps for Barking Blue Moon Ke...
London - Telltale signs of poor oral hygiene are emerging in the latest report into treatable cancers. A Royal College of Swabbologists survey has discovered traces of bacteria, viruses and parasites commonly found in the ubiquitous doner and shis...
Customers lining up outside Ali Bullo's kebab van near Dorking Leisure Park last night got the shock of their lives when they came under fire from an Apache helicopter gunship. It is thought that the helicopter crew became disorientated, and misto...
South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur, Ali Bullo today announced that he has reluctantly banned Freddie The Zombie from a kebab van in Park Gate. Freddie The Zombie, who has until recently proved quite popular with the locals, has been...
Kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur, Ali Bullo, revealed today that Sir Alex Ferguson has placed a huge and highly lucrative order for two hundred extra large doner, one hundred chicken shish, one hundred and twenty five lamb sish, and seventy six k...
Hello. My name is Martin Shuttlecock, and tonight I'll be telling you how to make a traditional chicken shish kebab, in the Turkish, Chinese, Indian, Mexican pikey style. Whilst being slightly inebriated, and wearing a pork pie hat. Always start by sinking a couple or even three cans of the finest Belgian lager. This will help you to focus, and allow you to suppress any inhibitions you ma...
Amy Winehouse and Jessie J have joined the "Don't kebab the Meerkat" campaign. It was started two weeks ago by Alexandr Meerkat after it was revealed in Spoof News that Meerkat meat and fur had been found in many products on sale in the UK. These p...
Soldiers deployed to remote locations in Afghanistan have been using Kebabistan for their charcoal cooked meals for the past month. The kebab vans owner, an Afghani, whose name is unpronounceable so is called Stan for short, is a local entreprene...
Shock news indeed for patriotic Englishmen today, April 23rd - St George's Day - St George was a Turk, the son of a Roman soldier, and it has further been established that he never attended a football match with a George cross draped around his his s...
Kurdish kebab shop owners reacted angrily to news that the Turkish government is to "significantly" reduce hunting quotas for doner and shish as a result of a government population survey which revealed that doner and shish numbers in the wilds of th...
Police are hunting a kebab which escaped from a three-in-one shop in Kilburn last night. The kebab in question is thought to have duped owners of the store by playing dead before making a dash for it during a busy period. At a hastily arranged...
Entrepreneur, Ali Bullo yesterday announced plans to open a kebab van at Mount Everest Base Camp. Ali Bullo, 36, originally from Turkey but currently residing in Hounslow unveiled his ambitious plan at a meeting of the British Mountaineering Associat...
Ruthless Kebab Shop owner Stavros Hovapopathapoulis recruited delivery drivers from Rally and Racing tracks to get the edge over all the other shops on his patch.
For the first time ever the phenomenon surrounding boozy, late night kebab buying can be revealed. Scientists at the UK Centre for Nutrition have discovered that Greek takeaway food merchants have been, for some time, adding trace am...
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