An amazing holy appearance occurred earlier today to local boy Gupta Singh in Smuvass, India .
As he lay on his bed stroking the weasel the prophet Mohammed appeared to him with a message for mankind (women were included but not allowed from the kitchens to hear it obviously)
His first nugget was that henceforth he would be known as Big Mo, as he wished to keep up with the times and anyway was a huge death metal fan with a life long fascination with leather pants and hair gel.
He went on to say that the traditional practice of butt banging pre pubescent boys was fine as long as they were properly lubed up with margarine first .
His next revelation proved quite shocking, he stated that heaven had run out of virgins, what with all the recent blowy up suicides and that henceforth the 72 virgins in paradise would be strategically shaved sheep with lipstick on .
He then stated that although not written in the Koran it was only right that bitches wear tea towels over there hairy ass faces and ugly bastard sacks that reached to the floor . He said it was an oversight this had been left out of the book first time but Allah hadn't realised just what a bunch of brain dead, narrow mided, intolerant twats would take up following him .
He then left the room with a joke :
Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces.
Disappearing in a puff of smoke he left the bewildered Gupta to finish his Jizzogomy before spreading the divine word .
