Microsoft Vista Shuts Down Entire U.S. Defence System For Updates

Funny story written by rfreed

Friday, 27 November 2009

image for Microsoft Vista Shuts Down Entire U.S. Defence System For Updates
Yes, I know- Ninja's are Japanese, not Chinese. It is still a cool and apppropiate picture anyway.

Bill Gate's Microsoft Vista shut down the entire United States missile defense shield during an orange alert today while it configured new Windows updates.

Taking over control from the hands of programmers who were readying systems in case of a strike by as yet unidentified enemies, Vista shut down the Military's computer systems while it installed new features such as a Junk Email Filter, Explorer 8 Compatibility, a new, free Geeks versus Wizards computer game, pop-up ads for everything Microsoft sells that is being challenged by a competitor and an update on the last update which occurred four hours earlier.

Military leaders where scrambling to reconnect communications during the update which always automatically shuts off whatever the computer user is doing no matter how much the user tries to intervene. Had China decided to hit the U.S. at that moment with some of their new "Happy Rocket" intercontinental ballistic missiles America right now would be a steaming pile of mashed concrete being pelted by black rain.

When asked to comment on this situation, Bill Gates replied, " Ho channy kawa iwee chowanto macobontano. Gha bwan batto Shanghai!" which translated from Mandarin is "What the hell do I care? I just moved my whole operations to Shanghai!"

In a related instance, a similar shut down occurred to the entire 36 Microsoft computers being used presently in North Korea. Fortunately for the North Korean government, they run all their brand new bombs off of Apple computers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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