Security Guard Wins Booker Prize

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Sunday, 30 August 2009

image for Security Guard Wins Booker Prize
The new Booker prize winner was delighted

A security guard has won the Booker Prize for his debut novel, 'Acton Nights'. Juan Stuart wrote the book during shifts at the local warehouse, where he was the night security guard. "I spent my days dreaming of being a writer and my nights writing my story. It's all my own work and is based on true events."

The winner went on to thank his supervisor and editor, Kevin, for all his help and advice. "Kevin's got certificates, yet he still spent time helping me. I'll never forget him. I know he was going to make me redundant, but he still gave me valuable help writing my novel."

"Acton Nights" really struck a chord with this years panel. Dale Winton, Wayne Rooney, Kerry Katona and Sharon Osbourne were united in their praise for the novel. "Oooh, it was soo racey!" said Dale Winton. Wayne Rooney "couldn't put it down", although this was possibly due to the superglue applied by Rio Ferdinand. "I found it a right hoot. Line after line it was great" said Katona, whilst Sharon Osbourne found the novel "ok, I guess".

The literary world await with baited breath for his next work. Already the Nobel Prize is being mentioned.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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