HOLLYWOOD - The 61st Annual Hollywood Emmy Awards went on without any significant incident. One reporter for the Bravo Network did say that Heidi Klum who is ten months pregnant, upon entering the building turned around kind of fast and hit Tina Fey with her humongous belly instantly knocking the Sarah Palin lookalike to the ground.
Luckily the red carpet is kind of thick and there were no bruises, scrapes, or cuts. The only thing that Tina suffered was a Heidi Klum belly button impression on her left upper thigh which she said went away before the night's third award had been presented.
Charlie Sheen, the star of Two and A Half Men did not win anything, which was fine with him since although he was there, he was not really there.
The shows director Sidney Dinwiddie made it very clear to the shows five security guards that if Kanye West even remotely made a move to try and get up on the stage that he was to be tasered immediately.
He assured the security guards that he would instantly cut to a commercial so that the kids and elderly folks watching would not be traumatized.
Dinwiddie strongly commented that there was just no way that he was going to allow some two-bit, third class, hip-hop, rip-rap rapper to mess with his carefully orchestrated production.
There was an interesting development backstage when the winner of The Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series Toni Collette of the show The United States of Tara actually had her Emmy Award taken away from her by the Emmy Award Committee when it was brought out that hardly anyone has seen her show.
Her award was then given to Julia Louis-Dreyfus of The New Adventures of Old Christine, who won it in a coin flip between her and Tina Fey of 30 Rock.
The winner of The Best Host of a Reality Show was Jeff Probst of Survivor. An unnamed source said that he witnessed category nominees American Idol host Ryan Seacrest and Dancing With The Star's host Tom Bergeron intimately hugging and consoling each other back stage, but not in a gay way.
Jon Stewart, of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart won an Emmy for Best Variety, Music, or Comedy Show. Stewart's win caused nominee Bill Maher of Real Time With Bill Maher to state that he would probably be re-examining his agnostic views.
The assembled entertainment media named Two and A Half Men's Conchata Ferrel as The award shows Best Dressed Actress. Ferrel wore a Louis Von Wuwu 2007, creation which uniquely focused on her ample bosom smartly taking away from the rest of her rather pleasantly plumpish parts.
And The Worst Dressed honors went to Jessica Simpson who showed up dressed as her still-missing dog Daisy. When Simpson was asked about the dog dress she merely barked. She then handed the reporter a card that read that she had vowed not to talk until her little dog is returned.
In a strangely odd related story. Kanye West reportedly texted Beyonce and told her that he is not being allowed on stage because he is black.