Old feminist can't find a husband

Funny story written by howy

Wednesday, 25 November 2009


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"The Weasel"

An 80 year old feminist that spent her entire life complaining about men wants to get married to start a family.

Betty Weasel says she's been an advocate for women's rights all her life; she has attended hundreds of rallies to demonstrate against men and now she wants to be rewarded by other women for her life time sacrifice.

She made a list of odd demands she wants to be met by female society at large.

1. In her list of demands she wants women to offer her their virgin sons as sexual lovers and she wants to choose one for marriage so she could have the children she has always dreamed of.

2. She wants women in society to allow her to sleep with their husbands so they can show her good will.

3. She wants women in society to buy her a home so she could know what it feels like to live in a house that belongs to her.

4. She wants women to buy her a new car because she is tired of taking the bus.

5. She wants Madonna the singer to buy her a private jet plane so she can travel in luxury.

6. She wants black women to give her free maid services for the rest of her life without stealing anything from her residence.

7. She wants Milley Cyrus to introduce her to her father so she could have an affair with him because she has been sexually attracted to Billy Ray Cyrus for several years.

8. She wants to be allowed to masturbate in the women's bathroom so she can show off her femininity.

9. She wants the National Organization of Women to give her a free life time supply of adult diapers because she has a medical problem where she urinates and poops on her self.

10. She wants a female politician to buy her a year's supply of Granny Smith oatmeal cookies.

11. She wants women who own restaurants to allow her to eat for free when she gets hungry.

12. She wants female doctors to treat her for free in their clinics.

13. She wants women who own beauty salons to give her a free make-over whenever she wants it, for the rest of her life.

14. She wants any female singer or actress to buy her a clothing wardrobe that will last a life time, so she can dress in style.

15. She wants Evana Trump to buy her a life time supply of toilet paper so she can wipe her ass in style.

Betty says she has been making the same demands for the last twelve years with no luck at all.

David Anderson the president of the "Association of Logical Thinkers" said, "Betty should find herself a man as quickly as possible before she ends up like an old crab in a bucket because men typically die before age forty and those that are alive after age forty are already married"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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