The Green Glow in the Irish sea isn't what we're being told it is. It isn't bioluminescence and its not phosphorescence. Its sea monsters. Lots of sea monsters with googly eyes and ribbon like tails with hooks on. Eye witnesses say they look like a cross between a dragon and a Japanese Ribbon fish.
They glow in the dark and they've come from the very depth of the Atlantic ocean to the surface to feed on Radiation that leaked from Sellafield in the eighties. They've been doing this for over a week now, but the Radiation residue has now almost all been consumed, but the sea monsters are still hungry. They need more radiation.
Last night all Governments in Europe were in fear that these creatures might come onto the shorelines of Britain to break into nuclear power stations and go for a swim in the cooling tanks that keep the nuclear fuel capsules stable.
Security has been stepped up around all nuclear installations and Gordon is on 24 hour call, to calm the nation if the sea monsters do take to the land. The first sign we'll probably get is a Power Cut as the fuel is drained from the national grid by the sea monsters. The Government won't tell you any of this, but you'll know they've arrived when the lights go out. Sleep well.
By Katarina Frogpond
