Two Die After Paying $9,000 Fee For Celestial Enema Rituals:' Shit Happens' Says Spiritual Guru!

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 16 October 2009

image for Two Die After Paying $9,000 Fee For Celestial Enema Rituals:' Shit Happens' Says Spiritual Guru!
Toilet Stalls at 'Spiritual Cleansing' Retreat That Killed 2 Full of Shit!

Health officials are still trying to clean up the mess at a local remote retreat where 2 died and 19 were hospitalized after going through a self help session which their 'spiritual guide' described as 'getting rid of all their negative shit.'

Following the deaths of two participants, it was revealed that all present paid $9,000 for the privilege of being subjected to publicly administered enemas, the Reverend Craig 'Ca-Ca' Hightower was philosophical, "I guess they finally just ran shit out of luck!"

The 19 other participants remain hospitalized with severe dehydration, rectal bruising, hemorrhoids, depression and anal compulsion disorder.

When asked why she would subject herself to such an ordeal, recovering San Francisco resident Jennifer 'Muffy' Meadows said simply, "we were just trying to find our inner self and Craig was willing to show us the way to a better world....shit happens....don't blame him! We're just so confused!"

Hightower left the compound shortly after Emergency Medical Technicians arrived, but before the Tempe HAZMAT team. Back at his World Headquarters in San Francisco, he would only say he regretted the unfortunate 'accident', and blamed the mixup on an assistant who 'may have added a wee bit too much Marmite to the enema mix!"

Hightower said his next encounter group will be meeting in Atlanta,Ga, where UK expatriate Duncan Whitehead has become his newest franchise member.

According to Whitehead, the meeting date is already sold out with the first 'consultation and spiritual voiding' to take place after a 'meet and greet' at Paula Dean's restaurant, where a full buffet lunch will be served featuring an all Southern Fried Food Menu.

"Holy, Shit," said a speechless Spoof.Com Writer from the UK covering the event for the publication, "wait till Lowton hears about this, he'll crap himself!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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