Duncan "Forced To Lapdance" To Pay Bills

Funny story written by DonStants

Friday, 14 August 2009

image for Duncan "Forced To Lapdance" To Pay Bills
"Exotic Dancer"- Duncan says he needs night time job to support poor salary

Conservative MP Alan Duncan continued his lament over our poor politicians, after claiming he has to "lap dance at the local gay bar" to pay for his expenses since the Commons's crackdown.

Speaking days after being secretly filmed claiming MP's "live on rations and are treated like shit," Duncan claims that his five figure salary isn't enough to live on and has to resort to a seedy nighttime job to pay his bills.

"It's a bloody mad world", he raged this morning, "My salary barely covers my four houses, three cars and a yacht, how on earth is it supposed to pay for my annual trip to Bali? I've been working as an exotic danced at my local gay bar for extra funds at the moment. They pay well, but are a little frisky".

"It's not like the British public works as hard as we do", he further fumed, "We sit in a house debating on how best to fuck up next. I mean, who else gets to do that with the pittance we get paid?"

Duncan say his plight is shared amongst many of his colleagues; "David Cameron is forced to advertise car loans on the television, whilst I know for a fact Alistair Darling works night as a rent boy."

In response to the plight of our beloved politicians, who's screw ups have been cut to just three every hour, the charity "Politicians In Need" has been set up, and plans to play out to a semi-full corner pub on Sunday, with famous acts including Tony Blair's "disappearing trick when the going gets tough", and Gordon Brown's hilarious comic routine when he gives a speech about how the countries finances are under control.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more