Written by Morse

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

image for Portland, Oregon Apartment Complex Increases Rents to Pay for "Foot Baths & Prayer Rugs", Promises Eviction for Tenants Who Fly US Flag!
Rainbow Coalition Flag Replaces "Old Glory" in Oregon: Vets Threatened with Eviction for 'Showing the Flag'

Residents of the 'Poison Ivy' Apartments, a 250 unit apartment complex in scenic Oregon, a state that has moved extremely to the left in recent years, woke up to find that their monthly rentals were going way up, at the same time they faced evictions for displaying the American Flag, anywhere on the property.

Erwin "Gunny" Polankawski, a grizzled VN marine veteran who served 8 tours in VN, was highly decorated, and now rides a flag draped Harley in "Rolling Thunder" road trips, said he was 'pissed' that management refused to recognize the sacrifices made by some tenants in order to secure personal freedom for 'everyone'.

Polankawski said he was further infuriated to find out that rents were going up to meet the 'diverse' needs of the community and that the apartment health spa in the complex was being turned into a 'mini' mosque complete with foot baths, prayer rugs, while a large bell tower in the middle of the complex would be issuing call to prayers throughout the day.

I was unable to verify the ownership of the apartment complex, which was shielded by 'at least 4 off shore corporations', some with ties to the intelligence service in Pakistan, and one an 'obvious shell corporation for ACORN with an address in a now abandoned mortuary in New Orleans!"

Four residents said they had a son or daughter serving with the US Military overseas, and there was at least 2 widows and their children who had lost their husband and fathers to hostile action in Iraq or Afghanistan. All said they proudly flew the American Flag in support of their loved ones.

According to a local Reporter, those widows were given eviction notices 'out of hand' with the reason being their presence caused 'emotional discomfort and stress' to other tenants who 'felt guilty' receiving city financial assistance and felt 'discriminated against' because they couldn't speak English, were ostracized because they didn't know how to use an electric range, and preferred roasting their goats over an open fire in the sand box of the Kiddy Playground. Those 35 plaintiffs, only identified as" Mohamad Doe' in court documents filed, are represented by the ACLU.

Portland's openly gay mayor, Sam Adams, recently elected despite the fact he admitted he lied about sex with an underage male staffer, still refuses to fly the American Flag over he city's municipal offices, although a 12'x16' Rainbow Coalition Flag flies proudly over city hall, and is prominently displayed on all official city vehicles, including the Police Department.

One Korean war vet, Gregory "Pork Chop Hill" Peck, said he was told the American Flag tattoo he had on his right forearms was also 'offensive' and he was instructed to have laser surgery to remove it if he wanted his lease renewed.

Said Peck, a squad leader during the bloody battle, one of only 15 survivors of a full company of infantry, " I lost a lot of good friends up there....if they think I'm gonna bend over for these freakin' liberals, they've got another surprise coming!"

A group of patriotic tenants have formed a group to defend their rights, and were 'thinkin' of runnin' a few of these ass holes up the flag pole, just to see which way the wind was blowing on the Left Coast!"

Anchors for CNN, ABC, NBC and CNBS echoed house speaker Nancy Pelosi in condemnation of the protestors, calling them "Nazis".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Liberalism

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
144 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more