Louvre replaces Mona Lisa with a portrait of Ronald McDonald

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 10 October 2009

image for Louvre replaces Mona Lisa with a portrait of Ronald McDonald
Mme. Mona McLisa

The Louvre art gallery in Paris has removed Leonardo da Vinci's famous painting 'La Giaconda', and replaced it with a portrait of Ronald McDonald.

Louvre manager Morte de Cultur-Francais said 'It is to show how us proud French now encompass new and exciting cultures from across the world. And nothing could sum this up better than sitting in the world's greatest art museum, and looking at a picture of Ronald McDonald while filling your face with three McLardhalfpounders, fries, a chicken McEcoli, and a litre of fizzy, black washing-up liquid. And of course that comes with a free toy, one that makes up a plastic Mona McLisa having her head chopped off with a clockwork guillotine.'

As French art experts agreed this was part of a new move towards France becoming more multicultural, and serving up less of the finest food in the world, and being even less independent from the United States of America than ever, one, M. Anatole Ratte, commented: 'Of course, some may be surprised by the portrait appearing, but this is part of a new neoclassical-subbaroque postmodernist antedeluvian preGothic form of oil painting.'

'It follows in the tradition of Monet, Manet, Minnie Mouse and Homer Fils de Simp, and Ronald makes us face a classic world-weariness in juxtoposition with an all-pervading struggle with Nature, and with man's struggle to open the ketchup bottle.'

Visitors to the Louvre had mixed reactions to the new portrait. Madame Stella Artois from Belgium said 'It's new, it's vibrant, it's now. It is, it was, it shall be, it shall not, we shall move Ronaldesquely to a stat d'hamburg with less doubts, and with more salt than a Siberian salt mine.' And another, Sir M.P. Fiddle-Funds, also said 'Let's just hope this portrait's not a fake copy!'

Plans are now afoot for further changes at the Louvre. The famous Venus de Milo statue may be replaced by one of Paris Hilton, the collection of Egyptian pottery by a Tupperware selection, and a huge tapestry of the Normans invading southern England by one of Aerosmith playing live in Detroit.

'These are improvements to the museum', said de Cultur-Francais, 'now you must excuse me, I am going to have le lunch, one of la jamblaya and les chips with le beer. Followed by un Mississippi mud pie and le coffee. Ciao.'

Next week, the USA changes its national anthem from 'The Star-Spangled Banner' to 'La Marseillaise'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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