Sarah Palin Says That David Letterman Should Resign

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 4 October 2009


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image for Sarah Palin Says That David Letterman Should Resign
David Letterman standing in front of a pea plant in the bathroom of his staff office.

DETROIT - Ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, in town to speak to the members of The Michigan Fender Menders Union Local 1313, has said that she believes that David Letterman should do the right thing and resign.

Palin noted that Letterman admitted to the viewing world that he had been involved in some unmentionable dilly-dallying with some of the female members of his staff.

He also admitted on camera that he has forced some of his female staff members to make coffee, microwave cheese Danishes, and darn his socks.

One of his writers, Danielle Fufuwitz said that at least four times a week Mr. Letterman would make her go down to the deli across the street and purchase eight cheese Danishes.

She would bring them back to the staff room and then Mr. Letterman would tell her to warm them up in the microwave. Miss Fufuwitz said that sometimes it would take up to five or six minutes and it made here feel extremely uncomfortable.

Another writer Hattie Zapalusksi stated that two months ago Mr. Letterman had made her lift up her skirt and show the other staff members her brand new upper thigh tattoo of the Late Show with David Letterman logo.

Snowflake, as Palin is called by John and Cindy McCain, added that in Alaska the way that Mr. Letterman has 'mistreated' his staff would fall under the guise of the old cliche, the boss might not always be right, but by golly the boss is always the boss.

Palin was asked if she really felt, as she had told Anderson Cooper, that the mess that Letterman is in is proof that he is being punished for making fun of her little underaged daughter Willow. Palin replied "Ya know, yes."

The 2008 GOP vice-presidential candidate says that she is instructing the thousands of voters who voted for her and Johnny in November of 2008 to boycott Letterman's Show.

She pointed out that Letterman turned 62, in April and that it is time for the old relic to pack up his stash of Viagra and to move on and let someone else take over.

Snowplow, as her eldest daughter Bristol calls her, said that perhaps CBS can replace the tooth-gapped geezer with a strong woman like Madonna, Queen Latifah, or even Grandma Lee.

Palin said that she enjoyed watching Grandma Lee on America's Got Talent. She did confess that she was so afraid that the Florida grandmother would fall over from nervousness at any moment.

The 45-year-old former hockey mom spoke to Grandma Lee over the phone and asked her if she had voted for her back in November.

Grandma Lee thought for a moment and then told Palin that she thinks she did but that she was not really sure.

She then said that she remembered that she had voted for Johnny McCain instead of for her because 'her' Johnny had spent five and a half years as a POW in a North Vietnamese Prison Camp.

Palin then invited Grandma Lee to go up to Alaska and go on a moose hunting trip with her. Grandma Lee did not miss a beat as she replied, "Well thank you very much hon. I'd like that, except that I'm kinda afraid of helicopters."

Late Show with David Letterman writers Danielle Zapaluski and Hattie Fufuwitz agreed to speak on the condition that we change their names for the story; so we did.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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