More US jobs found than expected

Funny story written by Aspartame Boy

Saturday, 3 October 2009

image for More US jobs found than expected
From thousands of miles away, comes the command to deliver your aspartame.

WASHINGTON DC - The economy has shed 15 million jobs since the recession began, according to government reports.

The US economy lost 310,000 jobs in September, which was what Rash Limbrough expected, according to official payroll figures.

Recently, however, 10,000 of these lost jobs have been found. With the help of Cherry Creek Junior High School student, Oney Obeyski, these missing jobs have been located, and not far from home.

Not far from home, that is for Oney Obeyski. Oney is from India, and that is where he found the jobs. The jobs are actually doing very well there. These are the jobs where you drive through the hamburger place and the guy in India, using some cheap telephonic computer that sounds like crap, rings you up and pushes a button that makes aspartame laden soft drinks pop out of a machine for you, in New York.

He says these jobs are doing fine, so stop worrying about it. Just drink up and you won't need a job, or anything else.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot