Princess Diana turns former French president mad

Funny story written by French Marilyn

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

image for Princess Diana turns former French president mad
"I wish you to love me," Diana whispered between the cheese and the dessert.

It was a tragic scene that enfolded on a busy Paris boulevard when a tall, slim, bald old man began to rant at the top of his voice that he was Princess Diana's lover. Bystanders summoned the police who quickly established the old man's identity. He was Centpourcent Dinque, otherwise known as Le Roi Soleil, who was president of France in the 1980s.

Old Centpourcent Dinque told police that the princess was waiting for him at his 18th century chateau. "Non, non, non! Ze princess she iz wiz our chieldrien at ze home," he sobbed when he heard that he would be transferred to a mental asylum.

The story he told the police and later also to asylum staff was that he had met the princess at a G7 meeting when they had fallen madly in love. "It waz ze luve at furst sight." The princess, he added, had whispered to him "I wish you to love me" between the cheese and the dessert.

Asylum staff told journalists that Centpourcent Dinque is also claiming to have been the lover of Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, Bette Davis, Marlene Dietrich, Hedy Lamarr, Joan Crawford, Greta Garbo, Ginger Rogers who taught him to tap dance, and Clara Bow who taught him to ... tie bows.

Psychiatrists say that they can not at this stage say whether the former president would one day be sane enough to be discharged.

As one psychiatrist said: "He's started to write a book about his affair with Princess Diana. He's doing so on toilet paper and has already filled 1301 rolls. This, as you can well imagine, is causing a sanitary problem at the asylum and staff had to appeal to Paris newspaper editors to send them old newspapers for the patients to use instead. But we understand that several Paris publishing companies are bidding for print rights of the book."

As our reporter has learned not only does Centpourcent Dingue, in his madness, believe that the late Princess Diana is still alive, but so do the publishers.

Dinque non?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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