Cape Verde, Atlantic Ocean - (WTF? Mess): A call to the BBC's Crimebotch programme has claimed Maddie McCann has been spotted aboard missing Russian cargo ship the Arctic Sea Men which is drifting in the choppy waters off the Azores.
The freighter vanished in the English Channel on 30 July after testing a KGB cloaking device marketed to the international crack cocaine industry.
Fortunately for today's Atlantic sighting US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was on her last legs, er.. was in Cape Verde on the last leg of her 11-day African tour.
A spokesman for Kate and Gerry denied making the BBC phonecall.
