With the economy in the tank, and bad news mounting up every day, more and more dead people are choosing to be re-incarnated as animals, a study by the United States Census Bureau reports.
The study contained in the report. "What Dead People Do", reached that conclusion by interviewing relatives of the deceased who acquired a new pet or piece of livestock soon after the death of the beloved. Of those interviewed a full forty percent believe that the animal they acquired is the embodiment of the departed. Officials believe that the departed choose this route to return so they can avoid the troubles that haunted them during their lives as humans.
Officials who were originally looking for people who had disappeared between the 1990 census and 2000 census, began by questioning relatives about the missing people. A typical response was "Fluffy, my cat likes fish. Howard, my dead husband, liked fish. Howard chose to come back as a female cat."
And while cats were the favorite host of reincarnated souls, a surprising number were also welcomed back as familiar backyard creatures. Among the souls found were Harold the squirrel, Betty the bluebird, and Dorothy the Doe. .
The findings are expected to have far-reaching consequences. For instance: Not wishing to waste an opportunity to get new voters the Democratically control congress recently passed legislation that would recognize animals as eligible voters as long as relatives could vouch for them as former family members.
The Animal Voting Rights Act of 2009 is expected to be signed into law by President Obama in time for primary voting season next spring, with primaries being held a little later then in past years to enable migrating birds to participate.
Two other moribund pieces of legislation, the Cap and Trade Act and the Health Care reform Act are also expected to revived through the infusion of animal rights.
"Who can deny", President Obama said during a recent town hall meeting on health care reform, "the rights of pussy cats to decent health care based on the ability to pay or something?"
