Written by Ghatotkacha

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for Tit-for-tat missile tests by Pakistan and India: is South Asia fragmenting?
Ruknuddin, the Pakistani religious leader who was tragically killed by a Pak 'Lamba Tulla' missile on July 27

[Al-Nakhli, New Delhi, July 28]: India has expressed 'disappointment' with Pakistan after the latter test-fired its deadly new 'Lamba Tulla' missile - a variant of the North Korean Long-Dong missile - on 27 July.

Initial reports indicate that the Lamba Tulla flew a distance of 3.7 km before crashing into a poultry farm in Pakistan's Punjab province and killing Ruknuddin, a 9-year-old Rhode Island rooster. A revered religious leader, Ruknuddin leaves behind 113 hens, 2412 chickens, and countless grieving eggs.

"We view the Lamba-Tulla missile test as clearly directed against India," said a spokesperson of the Indian Ministry of External Affairs (MEA). "It goes against the spirit of the peace initiative taken by Indian PM Manmohan Singh at Sharm-el-Sheikh a few weeks ago, when he met the Pakistan PM and offered to discuss all issues including Pakistan's support of terrorists in India and India's support of terrorists in Balochistan."

Curiously, the Indian PM himself strongly denies making any such linkages between India-sponsored terrorism in Balochistan and Pakistan-sponsored terrorism in India. "Prime Minister Singh has thrice publicly disowned the statement he signed at Sharm-el-Sheikh," said a tersely worded statement released by the Prime Minister's Office late July 27. "The Indian MEA must desist from making baseless allegations against the Indian PMO, as these only serve the interests of the arch enemy - namely, the Opposition."

Meanwhile, US satellite imagery suggests that India is planning to respond to the Pakistan Lamba-Tulla missile test by test-firing a missile of its own. Indian officials remain tight-lipped on the issue (as they have taken the traditional 'vow of silence' for a fortnight following the solar eclipse of 25 July). However, a Pakistani intelligence official in Mumbai reports that India will launch a nuclear-capable 'Maha Lingam' missile in the first week of August.

"India is creating an arms race in South Asia by developing the Maha Lingam missile," he warns. "Both India and Pakistan must resolve their differences through peaceful dialogue, and instead concentrate their precious resources on sponsoring terrorism in the evil Western nations."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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