Dublin/Ireland/ Perverted News - John Walsh, of America's Most Wanted, announced today the finding of a Naked 19 year old Deaf, Mute young girl who had gone missing in 2004 at Disney Land, and who has been exploited for the past 5 years on the Internet under the Screen Name of "Chamone' by her perverted editor, literary agent, and now Reality Show sponsor, JB Scurve.
Multiple international arrests are expected, but initially, a 50 something balding, pot bellied, toothless, pedophile and photography enthusiast has been blamed with holding the child in chains in his moldering basement, taking lurid photos of her, and forcing her to write foolish tripe, which miraculously, has cast the poor wretch into the top 20 of The Spoof.Com.
With a Screen Name of Jesus Buddha, aka JB, the literary hack, who by his own admission, hasn't had an original thought since he signed off the site in Dec. 2008, has been holding the poor young women hostage and raping not only her mind, but her young supple body, and sharing both on the internet.
It wasn't until a fellow abuser, known simply as 'Smergus Pervus', introduced their charge to The Spoof.Com, that the terrible hostage/sex slave/bondage literary boondoggle started to unravel, as many began to question if "Chamone" really existed.
When found, in a remote stone cabin in a boggy, boozy section of Dublin, Chamone exhibited the classic Stockholm Syndrome, hanging on to the bowlegged knees of her abuser and captor, as police officials prepared to take him away for a long respite from his buggering pastimes.
Not being able to talk, Chamone did grunt, moan, and grovel, as the Dirty Bastard was hauled away in the proverbial Paddy Wagon, tears pouring from her eyes, and drool dripping from the corner of one cute lip, a pouty lip that had been the focus of so many puerile comments on the Spoof Forum.
Grabbing her Blackberry, Chamone quickly typed out:
" What am i 2 do now...my ma is ded, my sis kant rite, and my pretend da is in the jail...i dink i m preggie and buck went bak to Florida...o,wo is me...kant sombod help my sorry arrse....? I do most anythin to be savd! Plse Call 1-900-Chamone if u ken hep me.!"
To date, contributions totaling over $500,000 have been mailed in to
The Spoof.com from all over the world to help sponsor the Tricky Bitch.
Funds are being kept in escrow for Chamone, at the Bank of Scotland, in their Iceland branch, and according to banking Sources have been reinvested into an ownership position of a well know Soccer team that just purchased the rights to a $200M Striker with bad knees, but a hot wife.
Skoob 1999 approved the purchase.