Roswell, NM - UFOs continue to taunt local nutbags without interference from government authorities despite mounting evidence. Randall Crane is one of these nutbags.
"Them UFOs put flaming poop bags on my doorstep, then they flew away in their saucers."
When asked if they were also the ones who violated three of his sheep, Crane responded, "Uh...yeah. The UFOs."
Local nutjobs have been collecting evidence against their alien tormentors for years, but the government just won't cave under the mountain of dramatic evidence including: first-hand accounts from drunk people, blurry photographs, and strange tattooos.
President Obama has stated he is 'willing to negotiate with our alien overlords whenever they decide to make their presence publicly known.'