Pyongyang - (AssoCIAted Lucy Liu Mess): He thought he was inheriting the running of a virile James Bond-like army of precision-trained high tech espionage professionals.
But his week North Korea's newest Spookmaster General Kim Jong-un, youngest son of Leader Kim Jong Very-Ill Indeed, had a massive inaugural shock.
A review of Pyongyang's Security Ministry's international assets revealed to him that 99% of its entire nuke-peddling espionage network consists mostly of, er... geriatric UK charity shop workers.
"Think Mary Poor-Ass, Queen of Charity Shops, but without the botox or purple panty-girdle," Beloved Leader Kim Senior explained.
Now Junior is wondering how the hell he will ever succeed in commandeering his awesome geriatric workforce into one massive push and...... nuke Buckingham Palace on 4 July!