North Korea's Kim Jong Il Threatens To Fire A Missile At Jupiter

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

image for North Korea's Kim Jong Il Threatens To Fire A Missile At Jupiter
The North Korean missile that Kim Jong Il is planning to launch at Jupiter. Note the U.S. logo.

PYONGYANG, North Korea - The looney leader of North Korea Kim Jong Il has just notified Vice-President Biden via an email that he is getting ready to fire off a missile towards Jupiter.

The leader who most say is somewhat touched in the head has warned that if anyone tries to stop him that he will push the missiles location direction GPS contingency mechanism and redirect it towards the country of the individual who is trying to stop him.

When President Obama was told of Kim Jung Il's warning, he laughed, took a sip of his Diet Dr. Pepper, killed a fly, and said for Kimmy to knock his dim-witted lights out.

Obama then said that if the Kimster even remotely thinks about ever fooling with the United States of America in any way, shape, or form, he will do to him what he has done to over a dozen flys in just the past few days.

The president said that if one uses a bit of imagination one will see that Kim Jong Il actually resembles a big gigantic fly. He laughed and then added, "Yes, a fly with a mofoing crazy-ass hairdo from hell, but a fly nonetheless."

President Obama reiterated the U.S. position on dealing with the wacky North Korean leader. He spoke to White House reporters and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, ah would someone wake Helen (Thomas) up please...thank you. Now Helen, wake up hon and please try and pay attention because I'm gettin' ready to spew out some important shit now."

Helen sat up and asked if he could have one of the secret service agents bring her a cup of Maryland Club Coffee.

The president turned to one of the secret service agents and said, "Timmy, get Miss Helen a cup of Maryland Club please...and while you're at it fetch me a glass of Tropicana Orange Juice without the pulp please, thank you."

Vice-President Biden said that while they were getting something to drink that he would have a glass of Delaware Punch.

The president gave him a look that could have melted ivory.

"Ah never mind Timmy." The vice-president remarked.

The meeting was cut short because a White House aide reminded the president that he had to take the "First Pooch" in for his puppy shots.

In a related story. Helen Thomas, the oldest White House reporter in the history of White House reporters recently celebrated her 102nd birthday. There were over 50 fellow reporters at the White House birthday party and everything went well up until Helen accidentally sat on the cake.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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