Shares in Richard Branson fell dramatically today when it was disclosed that he is in fact the late Steve Fossett. Mr Branson, who has undertaken many daring feats for the sake of publicity has now admitted the ultimate publicity coup - that he in fact became Steve Fossett shortly before Mr Fossetts dissapearence last year.
A visibly shaken Virgin enterprises spokesperson was unable to answer the many questions put to them by baffled journalists and members of Mr Bransons family.
I have no idea about this at all, pouted the spokesperson - I was lying in my bath (scented with Virgin Vie bathfoam) when you rapped my knockers (giggle) and here I am, standing before you not even dressed - whatever will my mum say.
Someone more serious then appeared beside her and explained to the astounded multitude of papparazzi that he had just been in emergency talks with Mr Branfoss as he would now be called and this bizarre story was in fact true.
"It is all part of Richards preparation for space travel - apparently medical tests had found that Mr Fossett was more able to withstand high altitude than Mr Branson so their merger was agreed".
All assetts, which are now jointly owned by the two (one) company have been frozen pending E.U. Approval and the consent of the monopolies and mergers commission if they bother to get involved.
When asked what this had to do with the price of fish the news conference was broken up by Tony, that big bodyguard out of the x. Factor.
