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Funny satire stories about Richard Branson

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Funny story: Pompeo and Rubio to be loaded onto the “all options are on the table” table

Pompeo and Rubio to be loaded onto the “all options are on the table” table

The famous table bearing that all time US favorite diplomatic tool "all options are on the table" is showing some signs of strain and decay. Engineers are busy supplying reinforcements to it, including corner reinforcements and foundational suppor...

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Funny story: Eugenie Bouchard at Pecker Island forgot her tennis racket

Eugenie Bouchard at Pecker Island forgot her tennis racket

Renowned blond tennis star, Eugenie Bouchard, is completely enjoying the sun and breezes at Richard Branson’s Necker Island. Currently underway, there is what is known as “the world’s sexiest tennis tournament.” On her second day on the island,...

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Funny story: What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...

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Funny story: Virgin on the rocks

Virgin on the rocks

Mojave Desert, California - A multi-billion dollar lawsuit threatens to shut down Richard Branson's massive ego following the Halloween vaporisation of Virgin InterGalactic's SpaceShipTwo. The rocket bombed shortly after take-off from a Californi...

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Funny story: $100m Virgin InterGalactic Spaceship bombs

$100m Virgin InterGalactic Spaceship bombs

Mojave Desert, California - Bankrolled by a bunch of Wall Street hedge fund Trekkies Richard Branson's SpaceShipTwo exploded during a test fright over the Mojave Desert this morning. The $100m craft blew up unexpectedly just daze after NASA's In...

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Funny story: Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Research has found that many of the UK's homeless people are more well-off than previously thought. Despite collecting just pennies in their day job filling our streets, some them took home as much as £3 million in their end of year bonuses. "Man...

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Funny story: NASA predicts Richard Branson's space travel pipe dream will bomb

NASA predicts Richard Branson's space travel pipe dream will bomb

Washington DC - Wannabe astronut Richard Branson is a complete charlatan whose daft Virgin Intergalactic Corp should be renamed Vergin' on the Ridiculous according to a NASA memo published this week. The world's premier space agency reckons decade...

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Funny story: BA attempts to shag Virgin!

BA attempts to shag Virgin!

BA and Virgin Airways have had many altercations and now the climate has reached "bitch fighting" because BA's boss has tipped that Branson and his airline will be shot down in 5 years. Instead of suing the BA boss, Sir Richard, in his typical brash...

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Funny story: Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

There was shock and horror on the faces of both the Sir Richard Branson/Stagecoach consortium and the First Group when it was decided by the government that they were now not awarding the east coast mainline rail franchise to either of them. It wa...

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Funny story: V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

Celebrity musician and X-Factor Chav, sorry Judge, was fuming today after being told she and her entourage could not use the Olympic Zil lanes to get from Stafford to Chelmsford to perform her new hit single on stage. The cousin of Dappy blew a fu...

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Funny story: Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

The Discovery Institute, the public and commercial face of the Intelligent Design Creationism movement have made a bold bid to buy the Vatican from the Catholic church. "We believe that the Catholic church has lost sight of what it was set up to a...

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Funny story: 'Sir Richard Branson's Ghost Train Roller-Coaster Ride Of Terror' To Open Near Sandy Balls

'Sir Richard Branson's Ghost Train Roller-Coaster Ride Of Terror' To Open Near Sandy Balls

Sir Richard Branson has bounced back again from the depths of adversity, following his recent disappointment, as his plans for 'The People's Princess of Hearts and Landmines' Giant Sir Richard Branson Log Flume Ride' in conjunction with the Princess...

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Funny story: Government Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years

Government Minister Has Been Lizard For 5 Years

Michael Davies the MP for Hull has revealed himself to be a lizard who has come from the future to stop the moment when an insane, heroin-fuelled, Richard Branson produces 50,000 angry robots to overthrow the earth. His secret was revealed when he...

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Funny story: Air France salvage mission ends

Air France salvage mission ends

The French have spent two years attempting to rescue Air France. They have failed. It started when one of their pilots greeted his co-pilot with a shout of 'Hi Jacques' and the ensuing riot meant that the flight never even got off the ground. From...

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Funny story: Branson/Sugar Consortium Swoop On Dallas Cowboys

Branson/Sugar Consortium Swoop On Dallas Cowboys

In a complete reversal of current business models, usually involving American investors like the Glazer family buying into Premiership football clubs in the hope of turning a fast buck, whilst taking over an operation which they have no idea whatsoev...

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Funny story: Please don't whip the horse - it's going as fast as it can already!

Please don't whip the horse - it's going as fast as it can already!

Londoner's were left in no doubt yesterday about Mayor Johnson's determination to see levels of carbon emissions reduced in the capital when he announced that horse drawn hansom cabs are to return to the streets of London this summer. The 5 year cont...

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Funny story: Virgin rail introduce new service

Virgin rail introduce new service

Richard Branson has introduced a new service for his rail company. Rolling out the red carpet at Euston station last night, Mr Branson gathered gave us this statement. "The new service if for passengers travelling to Europe and long haul journe...

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