Nazi SS Guard Plans Cruise

Funny story written by Atticus Finch

Friday, 20 March 2009

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Kumpf

A former SS man alleged to have taken part in the extermination of 8,000 Jews in one day has been freed by Austria, a day after being extradited from the US and is now planning a cruise - "To Just Relax A Little"

The former guard, 83-year-old Josias Kumpf, who was enlisted into the SS when he was just 17 was 'Hounded' out of the US by 'The Holocaust Crowd' and sent to a country where he has no roots.

Despite no evidence that Kumpf was involved in any atrocities, this 83 year old man has become a symbol of how Israel are determined to hunt down to the last man anyone remotely involved in Holocaust - move on say many.

"Jesus Christ - haven't they got enough to worry about?" said one man "Let it go - he was a kid - enlisted - he is an old man - fucking hypocrites."

Luckily though Kumpf will be fine - he is taking a cruise of the Mediterranean and hopes that now all is behind him. "I received these free tickets from a Mr Mossad, who has organized my cruise and everything" said the harmless old man, "I haven't met him yet but he said he would look after me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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