Obama - "Area 51 - Open All Hours!"

Funny story written by iscrivener

Friday, 27 February 2009

image for Obama - "Area 51 - Open All Hours!"
"Open All Hours!"

Honouring his pre election promise to break down red tape and state secrecy President Barack Obama is to officially announce that Area 51 is to be opened to the public by July 2009.

Not only will Area 51 be opened to the world but it will become the planet's first "Alien Theme Park" featuring real live alien attractions!

The proposed park will contain a mixture of attractions which will be divided into several categories.

Many thrill rides, such as the USS Enterprise and the Gravitron, will spin people at high speeds in zero gravity to mimic travelling through a wormhole coupled with other on board accelerations.

Other core thrill rides will include, a-tilt-in-time machine, orgasmatrons, kiss the alien, and swing with an alien inverter ship, nipple twister, and the Hadron hard on spin!

There will also be many alien craft rides to the moon and back, in captured UFO's dating back to the late forties. Rumours from various websites also have it that Virgin Galactic will be offering simulated rides on their latest Spaceship One!

The main water ride will be a giant log flume constructed from the idea based on the UK Carblaycard TV advert which will circumnavigate the "51" complex.

Chairlifts, monorails, and subterranean trains will take large amount of guests from one area of the park to another to observe and interact, at designated points, with real life alien life forms that have crashed to Earth in the past and survived their impact.

At the end of each ride people will be able to dine on fresh alien cuisine in the many Ouvre le Aliéné restaurants dotted around the area.

And finally at each exit there will be the usual theme park gift shops where visitors will be able to buy alien memorabilia and non threatening alien species pets!

Will Smith is being touted as the guest of honour to cut the ribbon at the opening ceremony on ID4 - July 4th 2009.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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