Catholic Church In Holocaust Schism

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

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Ein Reich, Ein Volk, Ein Pope

The Catholic Church has become embroiled in controversy surrounding the claims by renegade Bishop John Tyndall that the holocaust was a lie. "Six million Jews did not die in gas chambers" he claimed "they just emigrated."

It is not the first time that the 'Bonkers Bishop' has caused controversy. He previously claimed that the Devil was black and that AIDS was a plague sent by God to punish homosexuals.

The Vatican is in an awkward position. It is bad publicity. But Tyndall's claims about race and AIDS are not too far divorced from official church policy.

The main problem is this new claim. The Pope is said to be furious. He was overheard at a party recently saying "No holocaust! He says there was no holocaust. I vas there und I know there vas a holocaust. No vonder mein uber colleagues in Argentina vanted him to leave. Did you ever meet Herr Peron und Reichsfurher Galtieri? Vonderbar."

The church is hoping to avoid further controversy. They realise that Tyndall and his followers are largely illiterate cranks. However, the Pope needs to be steered away from the subject. In other words, DON'T MENTION THE WAR.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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