Written by Robert W. Armijo

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for Obama's inaugural "Oaf" of office invalidates his Presidency, say Conspiracy Theorists; scheduled scavenger's hunt may hold the fate of the nation
Do you see any loopholes when you hold up your photocopy to the moonlight?

Washington, DC - Because of the order in which the words of the presidential oath were read to him by Chief Justice, John Roberts, and then repeated by President-elect, Barack Obama, were mixed up, conspiracy theorists are saying that the swearing in ceremony of administering the oath of the highest office in the land is invalid.

"It's highly unusual that a Chief Justice of the United States would make a simple mistake like that, don't you think?" said Andrew Hawker, a self-professed conspiracy theorist as he held up a photocopy of the U.S. Constitution up to the moonlight that shined in from a window in his parent's basement, carefully studying it looking for clues.

According to Hawker, the U.S. Constitution is clear on the matter. The President-elect must take the oath of office without making a mistake by twelve noon on January 20th of the entering new year after his election, or the outgoing previous administration's expired term is automatically extended for 4 more years, allowing it to rule the country by forming a parallel administration or shadow government, if you will.

"That is unless the President-elect Obama runs around a cherry tree as fast as he can seven times, all the while singing, 'Ollie! Ollie! Auction free!' with a frog wrapped in a Confederate scarlet handkerchief from the Civil War in his left pocket before midnight tonight," said Hawker, while placing a shiny wrinkly silvery hat made of aluminum foil on his head. "So the clock is ticking. Obama has until midnight tonight to find those items."

Coincidently, Obama's young girls are hosting a scavengers hunt tonight, say White House officials.

"You see. I told you," said Hawker, as he crawled into a large footlocker at the foot of his bed. "I just hope they able to find a Confederate scarlet handkerchief from the Civil War in time. Last I checked, I was the only one on the East Coast to own one. Do me a favor on the way out, would you? Leave the basement light on when you leave. It helps jam the microwave signals the E.T.'s are transmitting to me from the dark side of the moon. They're always trying to cook my brain. Ah, they'll never find me in here."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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