Car manufacturers fooling drivers

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for Car manufacturers fooling drivers
The last car made with accurate information

It has come to light that all car manufacturers from Fiat to Ferrari are fooling the people that buy their cars.

The dashboards in all makes and all models are feeding drivers incorrect information in an attempt to make the driver feel that they are driving faster and using less fuel than they actually are.

"The speedometer in every car is indicating that the speed is ten percent higher than it actually is," said Arnold Armstrong, spokesperson for the AA in the UK. "This leads people to believe that they are doing eighty miles an hour on the motorway, when in actual fact they are barely doing over seventy. In addition, the first half of the fuel gauge goes down slower than the second half, leading people to believe that they are using less fuel."

People have noticed this before, but for years car manufactures have claimed that natural variation in the speedometer cable and the shape of the fuel tank have made accurate readings of these two important pieces of information impossible. Now, they have come clean and admitted that it is actually very easy to get all the information accurate, and they have deliberately chosen not to do so.

Police are urging people to still observe the speedometer when driving though, because it makes driving safer. Armstrong is urging car manufacturers to make new cars with accurate information instead.

"Where will it end?" Armstrong wonders. "Will they advertise cars as having five seats when in fact you would only be able to carry two midgets on the back seat, and they'd be cramped? Saying a car is five door when patently it has two? We demand accurate representation, this is only the thin end of the wedge, you mark my words. Do four wheel drives really have all four wheels driven?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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